


Broken and Bonded

by QuillMind



Series: Two Black Monsters [1]
Category: Berserk
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Angst, Comfort Sex, F/M, Oral Sex, Reader-Insert, Rough Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-01
Updated: 2016-08-01
Packaged: 2018-07-28 13:25:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7642327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuillMind/pseuds/QuillMind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You and Guts were members of the Band of the Hawk.  You fought for Griffith, the leader and man you both loved.  But the Eclipse changed everything, and now you two relied on each other alone in more ways than one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken and Bonded

Nighttime always meant the awakening of restless spirits, demons and ghouls.  You would know exactly when the day was ending, even if you were miles underground.  The mark that had been seared into the skin on your left upper arm would weep blood as they approached, hungry for your body and soul.  You had long since given up on washing the part of your clothing that rested over the brand, and as a result that spot was now permanently stained with dried blood. 

The setting sun paved the way for another night of fighting for you and your companion. 

Guts.  Your comrade from the Band of the Hawk.  He had been extremely close to Griffith, the glorious and shining leader of the mercenary group, perhaps even enough to be called his true friend.  Until the Eclipse happened.  Then absolutely nothing in this world was ever the same again. 

Guts' right eye was closed forever, and his left arm was now replaced with a metallic, weaponized prosthetic.  While you had retained your limbs, you were marked with wounds deeper than anything you had received during your time as a mercenary.  Distorted stars and streaks of battered skin were constant reminders of when you had been bitten and clawed at by the unearthly beings that had swarmed the land and killed all of your friends, your family.  Even now you could recall the feeling of the twisted, reptilian creature clamping its jaws onto you, teeth sinking into thigh muscle and foul drool coating overtop, while tiny, scrabbling demons that resembled anthropomorphized cockroaches scratched away at your clothes and skin, and a giant rat with five, bulging eyes and a hairless, wart-covered lower body tore off your armour and weapons and crunched them up like they were made of paper. 

It had been a miracle (you snorted at the thought of the word) that the two of you had survived.  No matter how much you thought about it, you _shouldn't_ have survived.  Sometimes you wished you hadn't.  The things you and Guts had seen and experienced were far beyond what any mortal human could take.  Yet when you awoke next, you were in Godo's cave, with Guts standing over you, covered in bandages. 

The look on his face, then.  Worried for your well-being and safety, panicked in still trying to process what had just happened and where that left you two, and elated that you were alive, so that he was not alone. 

Before the Eclipse, you had been just another one of Griffith's soldiers, adept with spears and lances rather than swords.  You were not among the best, but certainly not to be trifled with; the one time so long ago when you had skewered three raiders in one strike to defend a comrade had made you the talk of the campfires that night.  Afterwards, when you were about to head to your tent to sleep, Guts had passed by you, and smiling, said, "You did great today."  It had taken you a few seconds to respond, so surprised were you by actually being complimented by him. 

You had not been close to Guts or Griffith, nor had you ever expected to be able to become as strong as them.  Just having that bright beacon, that beautiful hawk, above you beyond your reach but within your view, was fulfilling and motivating enough.  But once Griffith ceased to exist and became that _thing_ that snuffed out the hawk, you suddenly saw how naive and childish you had been before. 

Whether it was a result of that harsh life lesson, or the unholy events of the Eclipse had done something supernatural to you, you would never know, but since then you and Guts had become far more powerful than before.  Wry, weary, and wizened, the two of you were weighted down with a terrible knowledge of the world beyond what most could see, which kept you more sober than all the world's monks combined, but also abjectly intoxicated on fury and vengeance.  From Godo's arsenal, new weapons had made their way to you as though they had been made specifically for you and were waiting all this time.  The Dragonslayer for Guts--more of a wall of metal than a sword, and the Moon Fang, a war scythe larger than anything you had ever wielded before.  Neither of you had given much thought to the immensity of these weapons at the time, when you were first forced to use them to cut through the grotesque Apostle and lesser demons that had arrived at Godo's house.  You just saw something from that world that you had only recently become aware of--

And you wanted nothing more than to tear it to pieces. 

The two of you had been blind in that moment, seeing your prey clearly, but simultaneously perceiving only a thing that you felt alive in wanting to kill; Erica, Rickert, and Godo were nowhere in the picture.  When the Apostle and demons were strewn in a mess on the ground, you had met Guts' eye, dark and bright with haunted bloodlust and newfound purpose, and knew that you had the exact same look in your own eyes, as he saw. 

You had both ended up clad in dark clothes, and pitch-black cloaks.  You didn't speak about it, but you both felt on some level that wearing anything colourful would feel false and alien.  In being exposed so violently to the hellish world of demons and watching the only family you two had ever known be slaughtered as a direct consequence of the man you had both loved, it was as though you were walled off from brightness and cheer. 

But also, black clothing didn't show blood. 

You left Godo's house together, armed with your new weapons, appropriately heavy to match your goal of eradicating every Apostle that roamed the land, working your way up to the God Hand. 

You had survived the Eclipse.  You were alive for a reason, and that reason was now clear.  You were not weak.  You were strong.  Many demons and men alike would come to taste your blades, and you would press on, not stopping, while the stories of a lethal man and woman in black began to rise up like smoke.

But you were weak.  Besides each other, there was no one else in the world that understood you.  Whenever your mind wandered back to the events of that night (which was at least a few times every day), you felt dizzy, swarmed with feelings of fear, grief, despair and rage like a cloud of locusts.  There was no peace of mind or body, as the brand on your body meant endless battles for survival at night, meaning you rested mostly during the day, so there was very little light in your life.  And when you would eventually die, you couldn't imagine salvation awaited you--most likely your soul would be desecrated and devoured by those things you killed in the night.  The future held no appeal for you. 

So you clung to each other, you and Guts.  For you were the same, friends-in-arms, survivors, witnesses to nightmarish damnation, willing slaves to revenge.  You were closer now than you could possibly be to anyone else. 

It was sunrise.  Dew still coated the green grass and the sun was barely piercing through the foliage of a little glade near a small river.  The two of you had made your way here after eradicating another batch of restless spirits and demons just hours ago, refilling your wineskins with water and cleaning your weapons.  Now you had moved onto another necessity. 

The early morning chill gave you goosebumps, but it was no match for the heat that was between the two of you.  Your nipples were unbearably hard, but did not owe their state to the climate.  Surrounded by clothing and armour like a protective circle, you were sitting on Guts' face while bending down to suck on his cock and pump it with your hand.  Neither of you were overly chatty since the Eclipse, but this was the time when you afforded yourselves the luxury of being more vocal, with lusty moans and grunts, however muffled by your mouths being planted on each other's bodies. 

You probably never would be able to get all of Guts' cock into your throat--it was taxing enough as it was to fit the amount of his girth into your mouth that you did, but you never passed up the chance to do it, in spite of the exercise it gave your jaw.  He smelled of sweat and raw musk, as did you; you had not yet bathed in the river (you were about to when he had decided he did not want to wait) so there was a sticky warmth to you both, but it turned you on, as evidenced by his hardness and your wetness. 

No matter how much Guts licked and sucked at your entrance, he could not stop the flow of your juices from oozing out, which suited him just fine.  Seeing your pink folds glistening with moisture, crystalline strands dripping down as proof of your desire for him made him growl in primal approval, and he closed his lips around your clit to suck and tease the tiny bud. 

You gasped and moaned against his cock, sending a vibration through to him that made him buck his hips slightly.  Encouraged, you began to move your hand and mouth faster, up and down on your delicious treat.  An annoyed grunt was heard from between your legs, and Guts brought up his massive hand to push two of his rough, calloused fingers into your pussy. 

You two always were the competitive sort. 

You should have been washing up and resting.  It had been three days since you had decent sleep, as your days had been busy with pestering bandits and thieves that thought you two had anything valuable worth stealing. 

A ridiculous thought; the only thing either of you had of value was each other. 

Exhaustion was a serious concern, since it would make you less sharp in battle, and you could not afford to fall until your goal was obtained. 

But you needed this first. 

Your movements where becoming less even as Guts' fingers moved faster while he sucked on your clit.  You were starting to wriggle, your legs shaking and your other hand that was holding onto Guts' thigh for support dug its nails into his skin.  You heard a low, brief, victorious chuckle from Guts as you sagged against his body. 

_Damn it._

You conceded defeat, though this wasn't too bad for you since you were getting antsy to move on.  Climbing off of Guts, you rolled onto your back, on top of your black cloaks.  He hovered above you, his hulking form frightening to most, but not you. His face was messy with your arousal, which he licked clean with that torturous tongue of his.  Feeling especially lewd, you rose up to kiss and lick around his mouth to taste yourself, causing him to smirk at you. 

"You're such a filthy girl." 

You returned his smirk as you wrapped one arm over his shoulder to pull him down to you, while the other hand grasped his cock and pointed it towards you.  Obligingly, he came closer, kissing you as the tip of him found your entrance and slid in. 

As much as you were enjoying his kiss, you had to break it off to turn your head back and shudder as you became filled, your insides stretching to allow Guts further and further into you.  His one good eye was fixed on you as he watched your face for the slightest indication that he might be going too fast or hurting you in any way.  He didn't have to worry. 

Once he was to the hilt, you sighed and relaxed, looking at him again. 

"You're all right?" he asked, his voice deep and serious. 

You rolled your eyes, though you always appreciated that he would care enough to make sure.  You curled your legs around his waist and pulled your hips upward, digging him deeper inside.  His face tensed and his hissed his breath while you grinned at him. 

"Does that answer your question?"

"Fucking Hell..." Guts shook his head and started moving. 

The cloaks beneath you rippled and rustled as he pushed into you, slow and languid at first, but quickly gaining speed.  Guts was transfixed on you, flushed skin riddled with scars just like him, your hair swirled around your head as you panted like you were sprinting.  Your breasts swayed hypnotically, and he lowered his head to delicately poke at your nipple with his tongue while the other was tweaked with his fingers. 

Your voice pitched higher and your inside muscles squeezed his cock at the pleasure he was giving you, and your hand flopped to the side, an inch away from your Moon Fang.  You noticed a cool, hard feeling over your fingers, and realized that Guts' prosthetic hand had moved to rest on top of yours. 

This was how you did things.  Even during these short windows of indulgence, you were never removed too far from your weapons, just in case an enemy would come for you.  On the other side of you lay the gigantic Dragonslayer, glowing yellow in the emerging sun's rays.  If you were to stretch out your left hand straight, you could easily touch the blade of the sword. 

Anyone else would have cringed in how dangerous this looked.  For you two, it had to be this way. 

Guts bit and pinched your nipples with his teeth and hands, respectively, and you sucked in air through your teeth sharply.  The cloaks were beginning to warm your back with friction and your bodies were coming together harder and louder. 

Sometimes, he would be gentle with you, making a clear distinction between having sex and fucking.  More often than not, though, you both opted for the latter. 

You wanted to be closer.  Demandingly, you hooked your arm around Guts' frame and pushed away from the ground.  "Up," you rasped out.  Nodding, he repositioned himself so that he sat with his back against a tree, with you now on top of his lap.  Once settled, be began to thrust into you with renewed vigor, and you pounded down on him with equal animalistic drive. 

You beat against each other punishingly, towards one another or yourselves, it wasn't clear.  New sweat was forming over your muscled and scarred bodies as you grabbed at each other, low growls and inelegant grunts rumbling from you both.  The coarse bark of the tree against his back was scratching Guts' skin, but he didn't care.  You raked his shoulders to leave red welts and pulled at Guts' hair, and the sharp edges of his metal hand pinched into your round behind as he continued to hammer into you savagely. 

The sun was higher now, and its rays cut through an opening between the trees to shine on the side of your faces.  You winced and tried to ignore it, but instead Guts brought his hand up to shield your cheek from the light while he snarled and moved you both around the tree into shadow.

There was a perverted perfume that surrounded you both that became easier to detect in your closeness.  Its structure began light with the scent of the wet grass, the trees and plants, thickening with your combining sweat and grime from travel, your hot juices that were helping to make the indecent sounds of you fucking, the worn metal of your armour and weapons that were always near you, to the base of it all: blood. 

You could smell it embedded into each other's bodies, a permanent stench like shit on pigs.  But pigs were poor, dumb animals.  They just did as they did, no sins there.  You and Guts, though, were tainted beings, far from innocent, closer to those atrocities you had encountered during the Eclipse than to humans.  The mere mercenaries you had been before were play-fighting children by comparison.  Now, you killed practically on a daily basis, incapable of being moved by the sight of bones shattering through skin, intestines sloshing out and spilling shit on the ground, eyeballs being squished under boots.  And with each body you cut down, each demon you sliced to shreds, you felt something heavy and black growing within you.  It was unfamiliar and known to you all the same, and its presence only grew stronger with the swings of your weapons, creeping over you with the desire to engulf and consume. 

Rather than be terrified by it, it only seemed to egg you both on further, to strive to resist it and everything else in the universe in the most ruthless way possible. 

You were practically yelling now, clenching your teeth and grinding your hips against Guts.  Your mouth was going dry and your throat would hurt later on, not to mention the scratches and marks you were giving each other.  Guts yanked on your hair and pulled your head back to bite at your ear, then cut a path of sharp nips down the side of your throat that would surely bruise later on.  The ownership and possession that the act suggested burned you up inside.

"Keep going!" you ordered him, seeing in your mind the edge of lucid thought fast approaching.  "Don't stop!"

Guts growled your name and went even faster, his forehead knotted tight as he felt you squeeze around him.  Everything you did made him more aroused and intense, brutally stabbing his dick into your welcoming wet center, roughly fondling your breast with his metal hand.  You reciprocated by shoving your tongue into his hot mouth, moaning obscene assertions and amping up your own pleasure, creating a hedonistic back-and-forth. 

The second before you came, you ceased your assaulting behaviour and wrapped your arms around him, screaming and trembling at the force of your orgasm.  Every muscle in your body tensed up severely and your eyes shut out all light to see explosions of stars. 

Guts' ears were ringing, but he had no time to think about that as he came as well.  _"Fuck!"_ he roared, the same way you had heard him several times when wielding the Dragonslayer.  Clamping his hands over your hip and the top of your head, he bucked violently against you.  The eruption of ecstasy that claimed him was so strong it bordered on painful.  It took some time before he finished shooting his seed inside of you, his convulsions wracking his body.  You both slumped in each other's arms, slick with perspiration and fluids, hot and struggling to breathe. 

But neither of you let go.  Even if it hurt, even if in your desperation you caused harm, you still hung on. 

Guts was still panting when he cupped his hands around your face and raised it to meet his own. 

"You're here," he said raggedly, as something between a question and a statement. 

Tiredly, you nodded and copied him, placing your own hands on his face, ignoring the gooey sound between your hips that came as you sat up.  You kissed his right eyelid, as gently as a feather, the most delicate touch you had given him in the last little while. 

"I'm here," you said, barely a whisper.  "We're still here."  

He sighed deeply and kissed you, and though his tongue ventured into your mouth, it was not so much erotic as it was comforting.

Words of love and affection were unsuited for you two.  They felt too pretty, too happy.  You were two black monsters, unable to ever live a normal life. 

So what, then?  You were still alive against all odds, while everyone else was dead. 

Fine. 

You would wear black to deflect the sight of getting bathed in blood again and again, walk the world a thousand times over to exterminate all of the Apostles and make your way to the God Hand, slaughtering all obstacles that dared try to stop you.  The trail of corpses would grow, and the dark beasts within you would snap hungrily at their restraints as they kept trying to take control. 

But they wouldn't succeed.  As inhuman as you two were, baring your teeth in delight at killing demons, you _were_ still human.  The nightly sieges on you by the restless spirits and ghouls and demons, and the feeling of your bodies exalting in each other were confirmations of this fact.  If ever you came close to losing sight of yourself, the other would be there to rein you back in. 

With the Dragonslayer and Moon Fang beside you again, Guts wrapped the both of you in your black cloaks before falling asleep, shutting yourselves away from the day.

Two human monsters, fucked up and broken. 

But still intact, and able to keep going because of each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Continuing my newfound enjoyment of writing reader-inserts, I figured I'd give Berserk a try. The new anime's all right, but the main draw for me is how awesome Hiroaki Iwanaga sounds as Guts. :D Also, holy shit when you Google image search him. O_o


End file.
